Saturday, September 27, 2014


You would think certain things in Hollywood would be obvious and  self-evident, but then again, if you look at them from a different angle, well, you might see something else entirely. 

For example:

One would think a smart, involving thriller like A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES would be doing better at the box office, but then again, the Liam Neeson audience these days isn’t exactly looking for anything this challenging.

One would think the NSA could catch the ass hat that stole the iCloud pics of JENNIFER LAWRENCE, et al., but then again you’d think our expert spies could also find ISIS members through their Twitter accounts too.

One would think that the reason GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY keeps making gobs of money is due to it being one of the better comic book movies, but then again its ginormous success is really due to the fact that there was precious little competition worth seeing at the Cineplex this past summer. 

And one would think that Chris Pratt's Star-Lord character was the breakout character in the movie, but then again, everyone knows it's really Groot who steals the picture.

Also, one would think that with the success of Tony Stark, et al. the name THE AVENGERS could only refer to the hugely popular Marvel heroes, but then again, for anyone over 40, the term refers to Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel.

Speaking of comics, one would think that DC Comics would be able to create great movies with their amazing array of titles, but then again, it’s actually more extraordinary that they’ve been able to ace TV with ARROW, GOTHAM and THE FLASH.

And with GOTHAM, one would think that the villains would be the most interesting characters, but then again, if you saw the pilot, you know that the two cops (Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock) were the best things in the show.

While we're on the small screen, one would think that the movies could find great roles for Oscar nominee Viola Davis and Oscar winner Octavia Spencer, but then again, TV is outshining film these days, so the small screen is where you'll find them shining in HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER and RED BAND SOCIETY, respectively.

One would also think that People magazine would have enough smart journalists working for them to avoid the racist comments about Viola Davis and her new show (, but then again, most magazines and newspapers haven’t exactly aced social media yet. 

One would think that Shailene Woodley’s followers will be anxiously lining up for her next DIVERGENT movie, but then again, if they’re true fans, they'll seek out her terrifically edgy indie WHITE BIRD IN A BLIZZARD.

And one would think that Lindsay Lohan would look at Woodley’s career choices and think, “That could’ve been me” but then again, LiLo is probably only thinking about choices for her next night out.

And speaking of WHITE BIRD IN A BLIZZARD, after stealing that movie, as well as SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR and Showtime’s PENNY DREADFUL,  one would think that the world would be Eva Green's oyster, but then again, Hollywood doesn’t really know what to do with someone like Charlize Theron, so I won't be surprised if it takes studios a while to come around and cast Green in every lead in sight. 

One would think that David Fincher might falter one of these days, but then again, he's the best director of his generation so why shouldn't his new thriller GONE GIRL be great too? ('s getting absolute raves and it opens next Friday, October 3rd. Can't wait!)

One would think the big opening weekend for Denzel Washington’s THE EQUALIZER would be a cause for celebration, but then again, if you’ve ever seen the Edward Woodward TV version you'd probably be depressed at how far afield this movie reboot is from the source material.

One would also think that an Oscar contender like THE IMITATION GAME would have come up with a better poster than this rather pedestrian one, but then again, Benedict Cumberbatch is such a red hot star right now, his face is probably enough to sell the movie. 

Speaking of Cumberbatch, one would think he could’ve made it easy on himself and simply voiced Smaug for THE HOBBIT movies in the recording booth, but then again, he's the consummate actor, so of course he donned the motion capture suit. 

One would think that after the tepid reviews and so-so box office for GODZILLA, Hollywood might have hesitated to order up a sequel, but then again, bad begets bad in Tinsel Town, so why am I surprised?

And finally, one would think that Jennifer Lopez, who is such a capable actress when she wants to be, would do more things like the movie OUT OF SIGHT, but then again, if you know what you're money-maker is, I suppose you shake it.


  1. Insightful as always, Mister Shot.
    Thank you for raining far and wide across the culture.
    But...have you no comment on the dangling weapon between Steed and Peel?

  2. Indeed, McDave. That dangling weapon suggests all sorts of stuff upper Britishness.