THE “10 THAT TERRIFIED ME” CONTEST
My follower Jeremy won with his selection of John Huston in CHINATOWN (1974) as the villain that terrified him the most. Inspired choice, Jeremy! And I hope you like the drawing I did of him. Indeed, Huston’s turn as the string-pulling, incestuous power broker Noah Cross is one that gave me the willies as well. He has only three scenes in the movie but manages to paint a vivid portrait of malevolent hubris marvelously. The way he uses his large hands to express his character’s amorality is something to see. They’re like the arms of an octopus - long, gangly, threatening, and their reach is staggering.
(BTW, John, another of my followers, won the Oscar predictions contest but has yet to pick the subject for his caricature prize. When that one is drawn, I will post it here as well. JB…we’re waiting!)
THE FUNNIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR SO FAR
Morgan Spurlock of SUPERSIZE ME fame has a new documentary out THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD and I saw it this past weekend. It explores product placement in movies from a unique perspective - it’s been entirely financed by product placement and marketing deals. And it’s easily the most hilarious film so far this year. What makes it so amusing is the utter earnestness of some of the straight-faced marketers Spurlock interviews that aren’t quite in on his comedic slant. When he asks the executives at Ban what their brand stands for, they sit there stymied, unable to answer right away. They’re worried about how serious he takes their deodorant and of course, they take it very seriously. One exec offers up the phrase “advanced technology” to describe the state-of-the art deodorant, but it’s finally the CEO who decides that “freshness” is probably the right answer, as it sure beats unattractive words like “anti-perspirant” that conjure up thoughts about arm pits. Hilarious!
Marketing was my profession for many years so of course I’d find this all too funny, but the other members of the audience were eating it all up with a spoon too. By the end when Spurlock visits Jimmy Kimmel in a suit decked out with all of his corporate sponsors, you can’t help but guffaw at the human Nascar he’s become. If that’s what it takes to make a movie these days, so be it. Just as long as they’re as entertaining as this one!
CHUTZPAH TRUMPS SUBSTANCE
I may be proven wrong at the end of May, but I believe that all of Donald Trump’s political posturing is not to become a legit contender for the GOP nomination but rather to simply ensure ratings for his show CELEBRITY APPRENTICE and guarantee NBC’s renewal of it. I seriously doubt such a thin-skinned celeb as Trump could stomach the scrutiny of a presidential campaign. And you watch, he’ll find some cockamamie reason to not enter the race. Like his casinos need him or his children need him. (Of course they do, they wouldn’t have careers without him.) Trump’s only interest is self-interest. America will have to wait, as he’s too busy marketing himself. He even shows up in Spurlock’s doc, talking about how to sell your brand. He knows little about securing oil fields in Libya, but a lot about snake oil. And let’s hope if another celebrity wants to follow in Ronald Reagan’s footsteps it’s someone of the caliber of George Clooney. He’s a lot smarter and tougher than The Donald, and God knows he’s got a more legitimate hairline.
CHUTZPAH TRUMPS SUBSTANCE
I may be proven wrong at the end of May, but I believe that all of Donald Trump’s political posturing is not to become a legit contender for the GOP nomination but rather to simply ensure ratings for his show CELEBRITY APPRENTICE and guarantee NBC’s renewal of it. I seriously doubt such a thin-skinned celeb as Trump could stomach the scrutiny of a presidential campaign. And you watch, he’ll find some cockamamie reason to not enter the race. Like his casinos need him or his children need him. (Of course they do, they wouldn’t have careers without him.) Trump’s only interest is self-interest. America will have to wait, as he’s too busy marketing himself. He even shows up in Spurlock’s doc, talking about how to sell your brand. He knows little about securing oil fields in Libya, but a lot about snake oil. And let’s hope if another celebrity wants to follow in Ronald Reagan’s footsteps it’s someone of the caliber of George Clooney. He’s a lot smarter and tougher than The Donald, and God knows he’s got a more legitimate hairline.
ARE MOVIES TOO SHORT THESE DAYS?
A while back, when the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy was taking the world by storm, critics started to wonder if movies were becoming too long and self-indulgent. Each of those brilliant films clocked in at well over three hours, but to this enthralled viewer, they didn’t feel burdensome at all. Still, I wonder if those questions about movie length worried some studios enough to start shortening their films.
I saw Robert Redford’s THE CONSPIRATOR two weeks ago and thought it needed another good half hour to tell its story. When John Wilkes Booth gets only a smattering of screen time, and he was the foremost of the conspirators, you know that movies need more minutes to tell their stories. I thought the same when I watched HBO’s TV-movie CINEMA VERITE this weekend. The documentary of the Loud family, America’s first reality series if you will, originally took up 10 hours of time on PBS back in 1974. In 2011, the TV-movie of their story took a little over an hour and a half. It’s good, and has terrific performances by Diane Lane and James Gandolfini, but I think it could have been great if it was a half hour longer. Are audiences today all stricken with attention deficit disorder? Or just the studio heads greenlighting such projects?
IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE TRAILER, WAIT 10 MINUTESA while back, when the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy was taking the world by storm, critics started to wonder if movies were becoming too long and self-indulgent. Each of those brilliant films clocked in at well over three hours, but to this enthralled viewer, they didn’t feel burdensome at all. Still, I wonder if those questions about movie length worried some studios enough to start shortening their films.
I saw Robert Redford’s THE CONSPIRATOR two weeks ago and thought it needed another good half hour to tell its story. When John Wilkes Booth gets only a smattering of screen time, and he was the foremost of the conspirators, you know that movies need more minutes to tell their stories. I thought the same when I watched HBO’s TV-movie CINEMA VERITE this weekend. The documentary of the Loud family, America’s first reality series if you will, originally took up 10 hours of time on PBS back in 1974. In 2011, the TV-movie of their story took a little over an hour and a half. It’s good, and has terrific performances by Diane Lane and James Gandolfini, but I think it could have been great if it was a half hour longer. Are audiences today all stricken with attention deficit disorder? Or just the studio heads greenlighting such projects?
Films like THE GREEN LANTERN, THOR and CAPTAIN AMERICA have changed their trailers multiple times since they started being marketed. Apparently audiences have not responded well to them. Or is it perhaps that the American audience is starting to get exhausted watching all these superhero movies? I like comic books a lot but even I am leery of the glut of them about to open in the next few months. One trailer that does excite me is the one embedded below. It’s for a new character-driven comedy called BEGINNERS and it stars Ewan McGregor and Christopher Plummer. Looks super to me. How about you?
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS AIN’T SO COMMANDING
I have not seen this classic from Cecil B. DeMille in years but managed to catch it this past Easter weekend. It’s not aged well. In fact, it’s actually quite awful. Sure this 1956 holiday perennial has some great special effects, a sumptuous score by Elmer Bernstein, and clever performances by Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, Vincent Price and Nina Foch, but everything else in it seems to be covered in cheese. The writing is ham-fisted and one-dimensional. The dialogue is LOL atrocious. This is one turgid passage between the two ingĂ©nues in the movie, John Derek and Debra Paget. Paget plays Lilia, a slavegirl providing water to the thirsty stonecutter Joshua (Derek):
Lilia: Does it take the entire Nile to quench your thirst?
Joshua: No, only your lips.
Lilia: Be careful, my love. Dathan's eyes can see through stone.
Joshua: Dathan is a vulture, preying on the flesh of his own people.
Lilia: When he looks at me, I... I am afraid.
Joshua: If he touches you, I'll strangle him with his own whip!
Lilia: And bring death to a thousand others?
Joshua: Is life in bondage better than death?
Ouch. That’s terrible writing. And in his sweaty, strutting performance as Joshua, John Derek proved why he was better off as a photographer rather than an actor. DeMille was so over-the-top about everything having to do with this movie he himself provided the voice of God. (Now there’s a filmmaker Donald Trump would love!) But perhaps worst of all, the movie just goes on and on and on. It’s 220 minutes long. Long, long, long! Sometimes it felt like DeMille was in the desert as long as the children of Israel. And I can’t help but wonder if this film prevented Charlton Heston from being awarded the AFI Lifetime Achievement Award. It was either Chuck’s wooden stoicism as Moses here or his asinine posturing as NRA president later in life that did in his chances.
Those are my thoughts today. Thanks for following and watch for new caricature contests in the weeks ahead. Become a follower here so you are eligible. It’s the only way your messages get posted here. And your thoughts are important to me.