Sunday, April 22, 2012

IF THE MAYANS ARE RIGHT...


…and the world is going to end in 2012, then let’s hope this last year of movies will bring the following…

I hope THE AVENGERS will be another IRON MAN or THOR and not another GREEN LANTERN. (My eyes still haven’t gotten over Peter Sarsgaard’s gigantic head or Ryan Reynold’s painted on suit. What was that? A spread from the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue?)

And I hope that THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN is more Nolan than Schumacher.

I hope SKYFALL is another GOLDFINGER or CASINO ROYALE and not another DIE ANOTHER DAY or A VIEW TO A KILL. (And can we please have another good James Bond theme before our planet says goodbye? Anything to wash the taste of A-Ha’s version of “The Living Daylights” out of my mouth!)

And speaking of the 23rd James Bond movie, I hope that Javier Bardem’s villain is as memorable as Blofeld or Goldfinger. (Or his titular villain Anton Chigurh in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.)

I hope that SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN is better than MIRROR, MIRROR. (And that Kristen Stewart acts more alive in it than she did in the TWILIGHT series. Even before Bella was bitten and officially dead!)

I hope that Julia Roberts will continue to be funny on screen. She was quite good as the villain in MIRROR, MIRROR even if the material wasn’t so stellar.
I hope that Jean Dujardin will appear onscreen as something other than an oily Euro-trash villain. (I hope his French comedy LES INFIDELES opens here too. Love that poster.)

I hope that now that J-Lo is everywhere, from IDOL to Venus shaver ads, that she’ll consider making tough, smart movies like OUT OF SIGHT again. (She could have been another Barbara Stanwyck or Ava Gardner, but somewhere along the way she wanted to be another Paula Abdul. Go figure.)

I hope that the aliens in Hasbro’s BATTLESHIP will be different from the aliens in the Hasbro-produced TRANSFORMERS. (Or a hundred other alien movies out there, for that matter.)

I hope that Hollywood stops remaking, rebooting, re-imagining and re-jiggering previously done movies and TV shows. Some more originality, please?

I hope that Woody Allen’s new movie TO ROME WITH LOVE is as good as MIDNIGHT IN PARIS. (And that it makes me want to visit that city as much as the City of Lights.)
 I hope that Jennifer Hudson finds some good roles.

I hope that Octavia Spencer does too.

I hope that they all don’t go to Tyler Perry.

I hope that THE RAVEN is a fitting tribute to Edgar Allan Poe and not an embarrassing one like some of the Roger Corman clunkers from the 60’s. (THE PIT & THE PENDULUM, anyone?)

I hope that MEN IN BLACK 3 doesn’t exist solely for the reason that someone in Hollywood thought Josh Brolin kind of looked like a young Tommy Lee Jones.

I hope PROMETHEUS is another ALIEN and not another LEVIATHAN.

I hope that Disney continues to find lots of money for Pixar.

I hope that the first Pixar female lead is a smash in BRAVE.

I hope that crazy, red hair makes a comeback because of BRAVE. (Enough with everyone being blonde, from Julia Roberts to Rhianna. No more peroxide. Puhhhleaze.)

I hope that Whitney Houston's final movie SPARKLE returns some of the luster to her memory.

I hope that movie comedies can be as funny as TV comedies are these days. (Hard to compete with MODERN FAMILY, 30 ROCK, THE MIDDLE, SOUTH PARK, ARCHER and even the new DON'T TRUST THE B IN APT. 23. They're truly hilarious.)

I hope that Hollywood finds some money for Mike Mills to make more movies. (I loved his BEGINNERS. Quite frankly, Hollywood needs to make 20 of those a year. And not 20 superhero flicks.)

I hope Hollywood finds some great projects for Kimberly Pierce, Curtis Hanson, Stephen Daldry and Morgan Spurlock too.


Speaking of Spurlock, I hope you get a chance to see his fun and touching documentary about fan boys and comic fans called  COMIC CON EPISODE IV: A FAN'S HOPE. 

And finally, if the Mayans are truly correct, then I hope that the world stops before I have to sit through that last TWILIGHT movie. (I would take earthquakes, exploding volcanoes, even another Pauly Shore movie, before having to subject myself to sit through one more Team Edward outing. Talk about life killing.)

3 comments:

  1. I hope I can stop relying on Netflix for decent films every weekend.

    I hope more independent (or even foreign) films can be distributed to mainstream theaters to give general audiences a taste of what they are missing.

    I hope David Fincher gets a DRAGON TATTOO sequel out sooner rather than later.

    I hope Clint Eastwood’s upcoming performance in TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE finally wins him that Best Actor Oscar.

    I hope Woody Allen’s upcoming love letter to Rome continues his winning streak.

    I hope Roman Polanski announces a next film project before the year is out.

    I hope ROCK OF AGES doesn’t wreck my nostalgia for the 80’s.

    I hope American filmgoers can be weaned (just a little) off the steady diet of (unfortunately all too often) dumb romantic comedies, inauthentic superhero-comic films, brain-dead horror flicks, and the mindless barrage of video game-inspired death and destruction battering screens everywhere.

    I hope I don’t have to wait until December for most of the 2012 films worth seeing.

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  2. Great thoughts, Fan! Loved your thought on ROCK OF AGES in particular! The preview for that movie looks kind of cheesy to me but we shall see...

    Indeed, 2012 so far has NOT been a great year for movies. Let's hope that the last half of the year rallies with better fare. Or at least before the Mayan calendar rears its pointy head!

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  3. Or was that the Aztecs? Oh, those ancient civilizations...

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